From Difficult Introductions to a Happy Home: Iris's Rescue Cat Story
A real rescue adoption story about fear, slow introductions, a lot of tears, and the Christmas Day it all started to make sense.
When people picture adopting a rescue cat, they often picture the ending: the cat curled up on the sofa, the resident cat snoozing alongside, everyone content. What they don't always picture is the middle. The hissing through the baby gate. The crying at 2am. The quiet moment when you wonder whether you've made a mistake.
Sadiye's story is about that middle. It's about adopting Iris from Dubai to her new home in Norfolk, introducing her to Sadiye's resident rescue cat, Qamar, and discovering that settling a frightened cat takes far longer, and far more patience, than she expected. It's also about what happens when you keep going.
We're sharing it because so many adopters go through something similar and feel they're the only ones. They're not.
In Short
Rescue cat introductions are rarely instant. Iris took about four months to start accepting Qamar, and by about a year in, both cats felt fully settled.
Fear often looks like aggression. Iris hissed, scratched and bit at first. Once she felt safe, she became gentle and affectionate.
Go at the new cat's pace. Barriers between the cats, a slow introduction, calming plug-ins and treats, and reassurance at night all helped.
Look after yourself too. Sadiye says adopters need time to decompress as much as their cats do.
Ask for help early. Every IBKT adoption comes with lifetime follow-up and support.
Something Special in Her Eyes
Sadiye wasn't looking for just any cat. She wanted a companion for Qamar, and she wanted to give another cat a home where they could really flourish.
Then she saw Iris's photo.
"The first time I saw her, I could see something special in her," Sadiye says. "Her eyes were so full of love and sweetness. I felt such a good energy."
A Little Too Optimistic
Before Iris arrived, Sadiye was hopeful. Qamar had settled quickly when he came home, so she assumed Iris would do the same.
"My expectations were hopeful and optimistic," she says. "Perhaps a little too optimistic. I expected her to settle quickly like my other cat did, and be best friends with him within a few weeks."
It's one of the most common assumptions we hear, and one of the most understandable. If one cat settled easily, why wouldn't the next? But every cat arrives carrying their own history, and Iris needed something very different.
What the First Weeks With a Rescue Cat Can Look Like
When we asked Sadiye to describe those first weeks, she didn't soften it.
"Stressful. Very stressful. I was over-optimistic and didn't want to admit that it would take longer for her to settle."
Iris was frightened, and her fear came out as reactivity. She hissed, scratched and bit. Sometimes, sitting calmly on a lap, her expression would suddenly change and she'd lash out without warning. She was visibly upset around Qamar, and the two couldn't safely be left to roam the house together.
So Sadiye and her partner, Sean, changed the house around Iris:
barriers between Iris and Qamar
a much slower introduction pace
calming plug-ins in the rooms she used
calming treats
soothing her at night, when she cried to be let out to explore
"We understood she was fearful and we needed to follow her pace," Sadiye says.
That's decompression in practice. A rescue cat who has travelled from Dubai has been through a lot of change in a short space of time: new people, new smells, a flight, a new country, and a resident cat they never asked for. Behaviour that looks like aggression is very often fear and stress, and it usually softens once the cat feels safe.
Knowing that doesn't always make it easier to live through, though.
"Me crying about the situation didn't help either," Sadiye admits. "I cried each time she wouldn't stop meowing to be let out. I cried when I thought she hated us. And I cried when she didn't accept Qamar quickly enough."
The Point She Nearly Gave Up
For Sadiye, the hardest part was watching Iris hiss and growl at Qamar.
"Her body language was not positive, and she was visibly very upset and angry with him," she says. "It saddened me, and it made me question whether I'd made the right decision."
There came a point when she was emotionally and physically drained, and she honestly considered giving Iris up. Sean kept encouraging her not to. Then she called IBKT.
"We had a call with IBKT, which helped immensely," she says. "I was assured that it's OK if I chose to give her up. I felt supported in so many ways, and that helped me continue bonding with Iris."
That's worth pausing on. Being told it was OK to stop is what gave Sadiye the space to keep going. Every IBKT cat has lifetime follow-up and a UK safety net, so no adopter is ever on their own with a decision like that, and no cat is ever without somewhere safe to go. Knowing that takes the panic out of a hard moment, and often that's what makes room for things to get better.
What Do People Get Wrong About Rescue Cat Introductions?
Looking back, Sadiye thinks the biggest misunderstanding is that introductions will be easy, or that cats will sort it out between themselves.
"Not all cats are the same," she says. "Trauma runs deeper in some cats than others, and we need to be mindful of that. Going slow is the best way for cat introductions, especially if the cat hasn't bonded with you first."
And patience, she says, wasn't something she simply had. It was something she had to grow into.
"It played a major role. I really had to adapt and grow within myself to become more patient with the process. I'm extremely happy to have persevered."
Support That Didn't Stop at Adoption Day
Throughout the hardest stretch, Sadiye stayed in touch with IBKT.
"Hand on heart, we felt very supported throughout the journey," she says. "I'm sure I would have been more of an emotional wreck if IBKT hadn't given me the guidance, support, kindness and patience that they did. They helped me feel heard, seen and genuinely sympathised with. I'll forever be grateful for the words of wisdom and advice they gave."
Rescue is only the beginning. Adopters finish the rescue, but they shouldn't have to do it alone.
Christmas Day: The First Real Shift
About four months in, things began to shift. And the day Sadiye remembers most is Christmas Day.
Iris was just about accepting Qamar, on her own terms. That day she played with her new toys alongside him. And for the first time, she let Sadiye rest her head against hers while she sat in her arms.
"I gave her a kiss, and it was like she knew she was finally home," Sadiye says.
How Long Did It Take Iris to Settle?
The first real shift came at around four months. By about a year in, Sadiye felt both cats were fully settled. Today, Sadiye says, she's not the same cat.
"She has grown immensely in so many different ways. She's now extremely gentle and doesn't bite or scratch us anymore."
The cat who once hissed at Qamar through a barrier now has snuggle and grooming sessions with him (and, Sadiye adds, their 3am zoomies). Where Iris used to be cautious, she now wanders the house carefree and curious. She comes for head bops, cuddles and kisses, and follows Sadiye everywhere, with her big brother Qamar close behind.
Advice If Your Cat Introductions Are Struggling
We asked Sadiye what she'd say to anyone in the middle of a difficult introduction. Her answer was honest and kind.
"Don't give up, unless the cat you've adopted is at risk. Keep going, even if it feels like a failure. It's taken Iris almost a year to be fully settled, and it was honestly worth every single moment."
"When it gets hard, reach out to IBKT. They're there to help at every step. The life you're adopting is a life you're saving, and there will come a point where all that struggle and overwhelm feels like something from another life. And the moment they finally accept you and their home is a feeling of pure love and calm."
She has one more piece of advice, and it's one adopters often forget:
"Please don't forget to make time for yourself to decompress and regulate. It's so important, and the cat will thank you for it too."
Looking Back
Asked to sum up adopting through IBKT, Sadiye comes back to the process itself.
"The entire process was very thorough, and I'm glad it was. It isn't a quick one, because IBKT are serious about the welfare of the cats and matching them with the right adopters. The support they offer is invaluable. They helped me a great deal. This is a rescue group that genuinely cares."
From a frightened cat behind a barrier to head bops and 3am zoomies, Iris's story is what a safe landing looks like. Not instant, not perfect, but done properly.
"The moment they finally accept you and their home is a feeling of pure love and calm."
Rescue Cat Introductions: Frequently Asked Questions
How long does it take a rescue cat to settle?
Every cat is different. Iris showed a real shift after about four months and by about a year in, both cats felt fully settled. Some cats settle in weeks. Cats who are fearful, or who have just made a long journey, often need months.
Is hissing normal when introducing a rescue cat to a resident cat?
Yes, it's common, and it's usually fear and stress rather than a cat's true personality. Iris hissed, growled, scratched and bit at first. With a slow pace and a safe space, that eased, and she's now gentle and affectionate. If behaviour changes suddenly, check with your vet, because pain can sit underneath it too.
How do you introduce a rescue cat to a resident cat?
Slowly, and at the new cat's pace. Sadiye used barriers between the cats, short supervised time together, calming plug-ins and calming treats. She didn't leave them to roam together until it was safe.
Can a cat adopted from Dubai settle in a UK home?
Yes. Iris travelled from Dubai to Norfolk and is now relaxed, curious and bonded with Qamar. Expect a decompression period after the journey, and give your cat time to adjust to new people, smells and routines.
What support does IBKT give after adoption?
Every IBKT cat has lifetime follow-up and a UK safety net. Adopters can contact us at any stage for advice, including when an introduction feels like it isn't working.
Thinking about adopting a rescue cat?
Every IBKT adoption comes with lifetime support, so you're never on your own. Meet the cats looking for homes, or read how we rehome, at ittybittykittytails.com/adoption-process.
Related reading: Love, Loss & Learning to Start Again: Samantha's adoption story
About Itty Bitty Kitty Tails
Itty Bitty Kitty Tails (IBKT) is a UK non-profit, registered in England and Wales, that has been rehoming rescued cats from the UAE since 2015. We've rehomed more than 500 cats with a 97% success rate, and every cat has lifetime follow-up and a UK safety net. Rescue built on trust.
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